at what point in a mutual followship am i allowed to address you by name and reply to all your posts and consider you one of my friends and stuff
Solar Road Trip
"Mom! Earth threw a satellite at me!!" said all the other planets.
When a man dressed as Satan speaks more accurately about God than your pastor, you know something is wrong.
So as soon as I get home I take my clothes off and lock myself in my room
but today my asshole little brother decided to barge in and he saw my tattoo
(my dad doesn’t know about it) and he threatened to tell my dad
Being the makeup junkie that I am, I ran to my makeup trunk and pulled out 2 concealers, brown eye shadow, bb cream, and powder foundation and went to work
I came out and he was like “That was Sharpie? You’re so lame.”
Joke’s on you motherfucker.
i never understood how in movies the parents didnt believe in Santa but he was actually real like who the fuck did the parents think put the presents under the tree like what
probably their spouse. christmas movies take place in a world with a severe lack of marital communication.
this robot is going to kill us all someday